The Alchemy of Conscious Dialogue™

Transforming Self and Our World with Conscious Dialogue

Let us learn from the trees that share an intricate web of connection, communication, healing and collaboration underground while reaching together towards the skies.

Magic of Connection

Have you ever experienced the power of connection in a gathering of friends sharing stories? Time ceases to exist. You feel the pain and joy of another human being. Hearts open and guards drop off.

If you are lucky, you may have had a similar experience in a collaborative meeting. The formal agenda disappears to the background when a co-creative flow takes over. Ideas appear effortlessly. There is a natural respect for one another. It seems like all is possible.

What if you could learn to consciously create more of these experiences?
What if we could create more of them collectively world-wide – what could be the impact on our human family?

Quest of Shared Meaning

Dialogue is an old practice defined as a process of creating shared meaning.

Active listening and honest sharing are the essential building blocks of a dialogue. We learn to hold our views and assumptions and build on the ideas of others. Rather than pushing instant solutions and results, we stay in the mode of inquiry until a bigger picture emerges. And yet, we need not agree on everything to arrive at a common intent that enables inspired action. Or letting someone feel they are being heard and accepted.

However, as all practices depending on human virtues, dialogue is a tough one to master. For it brings us face to face with the core human duality between the self and others. Our deep longing to connect and the fear of losing our self-worth.  

We all know how easily a conversation falls into an oppositional debate and dead-end arguments. Even when wise people come together with good intentions. We get upset when the views of others seem different from ours or inhumane from our perspective. So what can we do? 

What is Conscious Dialogue™?

By conscious dialogue™ we don’t mean just dialogue with others but also with self (inner dialogue) and with the collective social field of the whole. And they are intimately interrelated.

There is a multidimensional, almost magical aspect to a dialogue that can’t be fully explained. It must be experienced. As Joseph Jarowski in Synchronicity says:

“I could sense the “field” forming as we entered into true dialogue. This distinct and special feeling would fill the space around us, and at these times I knew we were communicating on a different place.... Seeing things whole amounts to an inner shift in awareness and consciousness.

What happens here that makes the difference?

The sense of a “field” keeps recurring in the transformative experiences of deeper connection and flow. When fully present with self and one another, we enter a field of resonance. Attention shifts from parts to the whole. That’s what we call the zone of conscious dialogue™.

This is a profound shift that transcends the core human conflict between the self and the whole. At best it occurs without strenuous effort to control our ego-centric drives. It’s like being uplifted to a new reality with a default setting geared for the bigger picture. Once experienced, it begins to change our worldview from separation towards unity.

Let’s explore what science says about that.

From Limited Ego to Unified Intelligence

Recent scientific findings confirm that there something extraordinary in our heart energy. It emits a magnetic field far exceeding that of the brain. When we enter this field, our brain, heart and the body’s nervous system move into coherence. The same takes place between two or more people who open their hearts and minds to one another. Their energy fields become synchronized. (for example research by HeartMath Institute.)

Neuroscience has also explained what happens in conversations. Judith Glaser in Conversational Intelligence says:

Conversations trigger different parts of our brain; either catalyzing or “freezing” our brains in protective patterns. The capacity to operate at a higher level of conversation is hardwired into all human beings.

Hence, instead of getting triggered when our ego buttons are pushed, we can learn to activate a different set of buttons. Those that ignite the higher human capacities such as compassion, intuition and co-creative intelligence.

Further to that, Lynne McTaggart reports in her book (“Power of Eight” based on 10 years of scientific experiments) that groups focusing on a shared intention catalyze a power of a collective dynamic which can heal long-standing conditions, relationships and even kindle life purpose. And it has a mirror effect transforming not only the recipients but reflecting back on the senders.

So together, we can practice shifting from to a higher consciousness that catapults our unified potential surpassing anyone’s personal capacity!

Inner Dialogue with Self

In the end, all leads us to the most essential form of interaction – the inner dialogue. Every dialogue we encounter is reflection of our relationship with self. How am I listening to another or speaking my truth? It has potential to become a powerful practice of self-awareness and conscious growth.

Most of us have been taught to set aside our own needs for the sake of other people. In the long run, it may feed a fear of losing self in relationships. Conscious dialogue goes beyond that by seeking the good of the whole – including the self, others and the larger world.

This calls for authentic self-expression. Sharing our honest views and feelings, while honoring those of others. Learning to show up as real, whole and vulnerable. When embracing our imperfections, it’s much easier to accept others too as they are, regardless of different world-views.

With conscious self-dialogue, we learn to recognize a place within that gets ignited when we feel insecure, separate and threatened. That’s the driving force of the ego, source of fear-based reactions. We might find another place too, a source of love centered in the heart. That place guides us to respond with calm and acceptance no matter what happens. When we catch ourselves getting triggered, an opportunity arises to make a conscious choice. We can learn to choose love that aligns us with the higher source in self and others.

Invitation to Conscious Dialogue

Every word and even thought carries an energy that can heal or destroy. We all have the choice how to use the power of the word.

Further to that, we need the mirror of other people to get to know ourselves, to see our blind spots and our greatest gifts. And we can only become whole by allowing others to cast light on our shadows. With all conflicts, inner and outer, resolution comes when seeing a bigger picture in which the opposites views complement one another perfectly. In that moment, you and I meet at a higher place that transforms both of us.

Conscious dialogue™ is our guide on that path, offering a natural way to leverage what is good at the core of human heart. We get to experience the beauty of diversity in life’s essential oneness and embrace our full nature as an integrated body, mind, heart and spirit. And we may awaken our collective higher intelligence to create solutions of the heart in the world that needs it more than ever. Together, we can heal and evolve our world.

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Article written by Mia Aittola co-created with Dinesh Chandra & Doug Walton.

Photo by Connor Simonson on Unsplash.

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